Idiot
by TheDilettante
Summary: Rakan seems to have the habit of being in the wrong place at seemingly random times. Drabbles, not serious, probs AU, and idiocy abound.
1. A dream?

**Plays with the fact that Rakan can break reality even if he's been erased (Code of the Lifemaker). What's to say that he can't use it unconsciously at random and accidentally end up in another universe? I don't own Negima! or Attack on Titan.**

* * *

He was asleep, that much was obvious, from his snoring. The incident with Cosmo Entelecheia was the most fun he had in a while. He was also able to fight with Nagi's son, a person on par (or even better than) his father.

He wanted his rest, but Lady Fortune did not seem to be helping him this time. He was suddenly on his back, lying on some sort of stone. Grumbling to himself, the idiot stood up, noticing the huge wall he was on.

"Damn, what the hell have I landed in? Must've turned the wrong way…" Rakan scratched his head after getting the kinks out of his neck.

Then he heard the screams. Screams of terror, pain, and anguish. Scanning the town to his left, he noticed things that looked human, but not quite. One jumped on a roof while another picked up something and tossed it in its mouth.

What were these things? Well, it didn't matter too much too him because his sleep was interrupted. Those creatures would be a wonderful stress relief.

* * *

 **"Rakan For The Hell of It Punch!"** The punch sent a couple of the things flying over the wall, and it attracted others as well.

The fighter was accomplishing multiple things with this flashy fighting. It would bring more things to punch, and it would bring those people flying around on wires over to him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU WANT TO DIE?" One of those people, a male person with a green cloak, yelled. "WHO ARE YOU ANY-ACK!"

Rakan chuckled. "Idiot bit his tongue."

Before the idiot could punch some more, he saw a flash of light, and three of the things went down. Rakan looked up to see a short man – maybe Negi's height, on a rooftop.

"Despite my subordinate's idiocy, he poses an important question. Who are you?" The man's eyes were thin and calculating, almost piercing into Rakan's own….if he even cared.

"Who am I?" One punch, one down.

"Who am I?" Another one down.

" **WHO AM I**?" A roundhouse kick knocks a particular big one down into the ground.

"I am Jack Rakan of the 'Thousand Blades', and I wa-" His introduction was interrupted with a sudden shadow over him. He looked up and saw a particularly large…

"Hey, what are these things?"

"…Titans, you didn't know?"

So it was a titan. Rakan didn't recognize it, but he knew one thing.

It was going down.

Rakan powered up with his magic and used Shundou, almost teleporting to the Colossal Titan so fast that no one could keep track of him.

" **Negi Fever**!" Rakan's arms and legs were outstretched, and the beam of magical energy fired towards the titan, only for it to move away from the wall, dodging the attack. A sound of rocks falling was the only evidence that the attack existed. His student would be proud...even though he never taught it to him.

"Huh, I guess I need to stop you from moving," Rakan quickly attacked the legs, batting away any attempts of deterring him from his target. Now that the titan was on the ground, he could finish this.

"Feh, I thought you would be more of a fight. I guess that good though. I can get my sleep now."

He thought the titan actually looked scared.

" **POINT BLANK FULL THROTTLE RAKAN IMPACT**!" The attack shook the surrounding area, sending rocks and dust in the air. After settling down, Rakan was sitting on the body of the now dead titan.

"Hmm, now that it's over with. I still don't know where I am," He thought to himself. "Maybe those kids could tell me where I am."

Just as he thought this, Rakan suddenly appeared in a room, the sudden scene change slightly disorienting him.

After looking around, he realized it was his room.

"I guess it's back to sleep." The rest of the night was filled with his snores.

* * *

"Levi-taichou, what the hell was that? Where did he go"

"I don't know, but I do know that we'll have less titan trouble here for some time. Contact Hanji. Tell Erwin that our next expedition is gonna be delayed."

* * *

 **So I can't seem to be consistent at all. I wanted to try this style and see where this takes me. Reviews are appreciated.**


	2. Fleeting Moments

**I played through all of Danganronpa. That game is pretty thrilling! I'm so excited for Danganronpa 2 to be ported to PC.**

* * *

"Hah, hah!" Rakan was doing some morning exercises, practicing his fighting moves.

"I had a pretty weird dream," He said to himself. "I beat up some large human-like thing with one punch…it was so weak!"

Jack Rakan sighed, he desperately wanted something to happen again. Fighting Nagi's son was probably the most exciting thing that had happened to him in a long while.

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of him next time I see Negi!" Rakan smirked and punched the air one more time…

Only to see that he wasn't at home anymore.

"Hmm? It's like that dream…" Rakan muttered. It seemed that he was having a dream again, or was he?

"Hey, who the hell are you?" A white and black bear suddenly jumped in his line of vision. "How'd you get in here?"

Rakan ignored the bear, noticing where he was. It was an auditorium of sorts…a gym? Negi had explained to him some of the aspects of school life but he didn't really pay attention. What caught Rakan's attention however, were the children.

There were fifteen of them in sight, and they all appeared to be very different from one another. There was a pretty girl, a chubby boy, a dude with crazy hair, a gothic Lolita, but one girl stood out to him the most. She was taller than most of the others, with blond hair, skin tone similar to his, and perhaps the most bulk he'd ever seen on a woman.

She seemed strong.

"Hey, bear, who is she?" He asked, motioning towards the girl.

 **"STOP IGNORING ME! JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FIGHT THE ULTIMATE MARTIAL ARTIST YOU CA-"**

Rakan couldn't believe it, so he laughed.

* * *

"Umm….guys, who is that?" One boy asked, the shortest one of the group.

"Ugh, how would I know? He just appeared out of nowhere like that stupid bear!" One girl with pink hair replied.

"Hmm, well, he is strong. His aura….such ferocity," The Ultimate Martial Artist said.

Suddenly, the mercenary stood in front of her.

"So, you think you're the strongest one, huh?" He asked.

She stood with no reply, stunned by his sudden movement.

"Well, let's see what you got!" Rakan kicked her in the stomach by surprise, launching her in the air.

Luckily, she blocked with her arms.

"Ugh, his kick felt like a bulldozer," The martial artist tried to recover, landing on the ground on one knee while Rakan crossed his arms and grinned.

"Nice reflexes, how about this?"

* * *

While Rakan and the girl were fighting, the others were frantic, trying to stay out of the way.

"Hey, Monokuma, just what is going on?!" The boy with the largest hair yelled out. "What do we do?"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS!" The bear screeched. "Hmm…I'll just have to punish him. Students, let this be an example to those who do not follow regulations. **GUNGNIR!** "

* * *

Rakan was kinda disappointed. Yes, this girl was indeed the strongest of the room, but she even barely stood on par with that one friend of Negi's….Inu something. Then again, he realized that no one was using magic.

Thus, the obvious outcome was Rakan beating up the girl, and now he stood over her, the martial artist flat on the floor.

"Well, despite looking like me you're not much of a challenge are you?" He remarked.

"…how are you so strong?" She wheezed.

"Years of hard training! I'm around 50 years old, after all!" Rakan chuckled.

50? But he barely seemed like his 40s or even mid-30s to her. "Hmm…may I ask for you to train me, I can be a disciple."

"Nah, I've already had a protégé, and I don't need another one anyt-" Rakan suddenly heard a voice screaming.

 **"GUNGNIR!"**

 ***SKRSH* *SKRSH***

The sound of blades piercing flesh rang. The children were stunned with horror.

Rakan wondered who was stabbed until he looked down.

"Oh."

A multitude of blades punctured parts of his body, blood leaking from his wounds.

"Oh no!" One screamed.

"He's gonna die!" Another one yelled.

Hearing that made Rakan want to laugh again. "You know…" Rakan turned around and walked toward the obvious culprit – the bear. "It's funny that you're using blades. Do you know who the people used to call me by?"

The bear actually appeared to be shocked. "…w-w-what?"

Jack Rakan sneered.

 **"The Thousand Blades."** Rakan focused his magic within and started to channel it towards his wounds. Seconds later, the blades were pushed out by the newly-healed flesh.

"Oh yeah?! Just because you can do that doesn't mean I can't shoot you down! My plan to keep the students inside will not be stopped by someone like you!" The bear pulled out a remote and pushed a button, activating the turrets inside the gym.

Rakan laughed and disappeared, the falling turrets the only evidence that he had moved. "So you're keeping the kids in here? How about I change that plan?"

He turned his back to the furious bear and faced a wall, getting into a stance.

'Which attack should I use? No, not that one…maybe I should be a little flashy…" Deciding on a move, Rakan jumped toward the wall, fist ready to punch.

 **"I Don't Give A Shit Cannon!"** A focused blast of magic shot forth from his outstretched fist, creating an explosion and knocking back most of the kids.

* * *

When the dust died down, it seemed that Rakan was lucky, since the spot he chose was right next to the outside world. Jumping out, he shook his head in annoyance. "Che, is this a bear world or something?"

The sky was dark, but the ground wasn't. It was lit in flames, and people with bear heads were rampaging, while large bears were destroying buildings.

"I guess I'll have to do this the old fashioned way," Rakan focused his magic once more….

To suddenly appear in a room. Rakan was shocked.

"Where is this?" He looked around until he saw a bed and a figure lying in it.

"What's that noise? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep…" A tanned woman stretched and looked at him. "Jack? What are you doing in my room?"

It was Theodora, which meant that….

 **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

….his dream was over.

* * *

 **Reviews are appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.**


	3. Experimentation

"And don't come out until you're finished wiping that!" Theodora yelled, slamming the door and leaving Jack Rakan in the dirty room with a bucket and a mop.

Needless to say, she wasn't pleased that Rakan had suddenly appeared in her room in the early morning.

"I wonder why this is happening to me," Rakan muttered, ignoring the cleaning supplies. He knelt on the ground and looked at his torso. The scratches that the small bear had inflicted on him were still there, the scars showing evidence of the damage.

"Maybe it has to do with my magic?" He wondered. "What happens if I try this?"

Jack Rakan stood up and breathed in slowly. A soft light surrounded him as he began to power his magic. He felt a little different, as if something within him wanted to get free.

"Almost….there…" Rakan began to feel more pressure on his shoulders.

Ki.

Magic.

When these two came together, a technique like Kanka is used. Rakan didn't specialize in this unlike Gateau or Takahata, but he knew how to balance out the two energies.

However, this time, he felt his control slipping away.

The mercenary felt a bead of sweat drip down his brow. Suddenly, he sensed a change around him.

A rush of wind.

The blaring sound of a horn.

People walking.

Something approaching from behind?

Rakan turned to see a large metal vehicle headed straight for him. Upon closer inspection, the person behind the glass was startled, swinging his arms.

The vehicle suddenly swerved around him, falling to it side and sliding towards his left.

"Well, this is rather different," Rakan moved quickly, putting himself between the vehicle and the citizens that would've been crushed by it. Using a single hand, he stopped it from moving in an instant.

Rakan looked up at the sky. The blue sky and clouds appeared to be the same as the one on Earth, where Negi lived.

"Lots of technology, huh," Rakan scanned his surroundings, noticing the gray streets, tall buildings, and more metal vehicles of different sizes.

"Sir, are you alright?"

He turned his head and looked down. Most other people weren't as tall as he was. Then again, most people weren't Jack Rakan.

A girl wearing a school uniform met his gaze. She used two red ribbons to have a twin tailed look, and she wore a green armband on her right arm.

She seemed on edge, but Rakan didn't understand why, the problem was taken of right?

"Ah, I'm alright chibi, but I think you should check up on that person in the metal vehicle," Rakan laughed. "A simple thing like that can't stop me!"

"I already have some people working on that," She replied, pointing out the people lifting the man onto a stretcher. "Thank you for your help, even though it was unexpected, but a lot more casualties were avoided. Ah, my name is Shirai Kuroko of Judgement."

Rakan noticed the crowd growing larger. They must be really interested in this Jack Rakan here.

"Still, as a protocol, you know that we have to take you in for questioning," She said, motioning over towards another metal vehicle.

"Why? I did nothing wrong," He replied, scratching his head in thought.

"Sir, we would like you to cooperate with us, as you're drawing attention…"

Rakan was disappointed. He wanted someone to fight, not an altercation with the chibi-police brigade!

"I'll just show myself out. Later!" Rakan disappeared from view.

Kuroko was shocked, but she quickly took her phone out and dialed a number. "There's an unregistered esper with teleportation powers! He's a large dark-skinned man. You can't miss him!"


End file.
